Land of Sweetness and Light

lazytechsupport:

katobleps:

lesbianrey:

hi i’m tolkien here are my ocs. i call them Elves (not elfs!!! if you call them elfs i will block you) they look like humans but they’re tall, live forever, and have pointy ears. that’s it bye

cs lewis: are you alright with constructive criticism? i dont want to sound mean

tolkien: no go ahead i want to hear it

cs lewis: they fucking suck

tolkien: thats not constructive criticism

cs lewis: here’s my OC, it’s jesus but he’s a lion
tolkien: Furry
cs lewis: blocked

tastefullyoffensive:

(via ma121alpha)

traumatizedofficial:

femkitti:

The moment you punish a child for being honest is the same moment that child learns to lie

Also please stop calling these people who admit to compulsively lying ‘untrustworthy’. We literally did it as a defense mechanism and now we’re stuck with it

andreashettle:

metapianycist:

that executive dysfunction feel when you want to eat but there are too many steps in the process between you and food

And step one is, “Overcome inertia for long enough to figure out what all the other steps are.”

serenity-fails:

don’t @ me

captoring:

blastortoise:

Why would you intentionally eat olives like what in the fuck? are you okay? is someone forcing you to do this? You need me to call the police let me know so we can help you

there is a component in olives that some people taste as extremelly bitter and some people dont taste at all.

it’s just how we were born please leave us and the olives alone

sharkphobia:

me:

thatonechick339:

nervouslikeme:

I like how men tell us that periods are somehow simultaneously “not that bad” and also bad enough that we shouldn’t be allowed to hold positions of power.

This is a very important and powerful text post.

new-evitron:

i dunno why people are confused about why cask of amontillado is catching on, it’s easily poe’s funniest damn story

dude says at the beginning “man. i hate this fucking guy. i’m the pettiest bitch of all time. i’m gonna get him”

and then his friend is so drunk that he’s like sure man! i’ll go into your weird Hell Cellar for some dope ass amontillado

and then he just gets fuckin walled in there with no twist at all. the twist is that the protag ended up doing what he intended to do while being completely suspicious and not at all hiding his animosity. and the clown guy is a fucking rube and had every chance to NOT die and didn’t take them. it’s fucking funny

forsakers:

your worst nightmare comes true when you clog your friends toilet