snarky speaks – Page 6 – Land of Sweetness and Light

if my professor presents us with another reading about sappho, the doting housewife, i am going to YELL

snapchat trying to autofocus my blurry photos for me like

nah listen here i take these blurry pictures for the AESTHETIC and i don’t need your SASS about the way i make drunken plans with friends

being a delivery driver in a college town on a rainy friday night which also happens to be 4/20 is at least the fifth circle of hell

wow my dm is kind of an ass

he just fucked two of us over without giving us a fucking chance to roll for drama

like. we bought items at a shop

and didn’t tell us what they did or anything, didn’t let us roll for it.

instantly cursed my character to turn into a mannequin and our lawful good paladin was possessed and killed two people, and was forced to kill my puppet form, therefore killing me. he didn’t let us fucking resist. he didn’t give us a chance.

i know I shouldn’t be pissed and it’s just a game but it completely ruined the game for both of us because we have no say and didn’t have a chance to contribute

if it was cursed fine!!! let us roll for it!

don’t just fuck us over

I don’t want to be babied, but I do want to be respected

hey listen buddy i don’t care if you want a fifth DPS or whatever i’m gay and i’ve never aimed straight in my life why the fuck do you think i’m playing support MY DUDE

GOD why doesn’t my dm use fifth edition there is so much confusing math and overkill and bad character sheet usage i am just a simple gay tricked into doing math and i am NOT DOWN FOR THIS

on the plus side my tiefling learned how to throw sand

so i was at my friend’s house and we’re just hanging out and drinking a little, and she was cleaning up while we talked

I kept facing her wherever she went and at one point she ducked into the garage, which was still within earshot and incidentally meant I was still facing the front door which I kept in eyesight for a solid five minutes and only glanced away from once

this is an important fact.

so I look away to grab my drink, and we both notice as she comes back into the main house that it’s gotten colder. the front door is open

“it’s a ghost,” I say, tipsy and jovial

she goes to the door and closes it and says, “did you bring… pineapple and beans???”

the answer is no

someone. some motherfucker. in the time I grabbed my drink and looked away. opened the front door, meticulously stacked pineapple, black beans, and garbanzo bean cans all into a little pyramid and fled the way they had come.

how. how did they do this. why did they do this. I was tipsy, but not drunk enough that I lost spatial awareness

how did this happten

playing a comp match and someone on their smurf account said that my callouts as mercy were on a much higher level than my SR reflected and complimented my heals 😀

hey genji? genji??? HEY GENJAMIN??? my name is MERCY not War Horse (2011) ft. Tom Hiddleston so STOP charging into the middle of a roiling war zone and whinging about heals to replace your -2 life bar you sunken

soufflé

my favorite flavor of jellybean is the lesbean