i just tripped and fell on some of the many stairs on my campus and all I could manage lying on the concrete was the most defeated “fuck”
Tag: snarky speaks
find someone that looks at you like my kitten looks at bacon
cats aren’t affectionate and aren’t sad when you leave
my car got broken into and the fricker took a broken GPS and my packaged lord of the rings books
they were clearly frustrated I didn’t have anything valuable because they chucked the empty package across my garage like a fussy baby
coworker 1: there’s pretty much only a couple of country songs
me: yeah they’re all just I love my truck, I love beer or whiskey, my girlfriend left me, the girl one where they want to kill their husband
coworker 2: don’t forget shooting guns with their daddy or sex in a cornfield
coworker 1: why a cornfield
me: …’cause it makes her corny
coworkers: STOP
in my food and culture class, my professor was talking about how food is a strong marker of religious identity
she used the example since we are in utah of former mormon students making the conscious decision to start carrying around coffee to clearly indicate they’re no longer part of that group
i almost choked on my starbucks
my girlfriend says we should just rename our cat jingle jangles and she keeps saying that to her around the house
the poor baby is going to be confused!! this cannot be my legacy
why are cats so good
also since a lot of y’all followed me for my salty healer post you can add me on overwatch if you’d like it’s Snarky#11835
a mercy player starter pack
Land of Sweetness and Light 
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