gueeeeeess who got a tattoo
Tag: snarky speaks
i wasn’t allowed to take him as a tip for delivering this guy pizza and I made him sad
i mean he’s not a good guard dog he doesn’t bark he just wiggles
man daylight savings doesn’t even affect me anymore I’m just in this constant state of exhaustion. i’ve probably slept like two whole hours in the past four years and you think I’m gonna care about losing an hour??? think again u fucks time cannot hurt me
the most baffling part about having a post explode is getting new followers that aren’t porn bots
the best thing about having a ceramics class is that you instantly gain gifts for people if you panic and forget to buy something
doesn’t matter how much these babies lean or how much glaze they have on them people love it
leave her alone she’s watching the game
my kitten has learned that when there is a car noise outside, that means one of her mommas is home and she will be waiting by the door meowing and wiggling
however she also perks up and gets excited for every single other car, even if she is sleeping between both of us so there is no way that a momma has returned
there is a limited number of lesbians in this household, cat, you can’t just collect new moms like they’re Pokémon
at the McDonald’s drive-thru like
me: will you be my valentine
McDonald’s employee: heart’s broke
advantages of making your own coded writing: people think you’re writing notes but you’re really swearing like a sailor’s momma when it rains
Land of Sweetness and Light 
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