stardustbinch:

me talking about myself:
▶ 🔘──────── 00:05

me talking about my girlfriend:
▶ 🔘──────── 72:49:58

snakestack:

snakestack:

Babies are always way stronger than I expect

I think it’s because babies are always prepared to use 100% of their power in anything they do but a person holding a baby never wants to use more than 2% strength to restrain a baby

pussylightlytoasted:

michaelmakesanentrance:

if u don’t kiss ur cat on their tiny soft little forehead wtf are u even doing

Yelling at her for trying to eat plastic

geoclaire:

bob-belcher:

reasons why Halloween is the best holiday:

• you are not obligated to visit your relatives
• you are not obligated to get gifts for anybody
• people will give you candy for absolutely no reason other than it’s Halloween
• it’s the only day of the year when it’s socially acceptable to go out in public dressed as a penguin

I finally understand about Americans and Halloween