spoonyruncible:

I do feel bad for plants in general.
Like, I know they are often as vicious as animals in many ways, just slower.
But, I mean, they just show up and they’re like, “I Think I Will Evolve To Eat The Sun And Also Make Oxygen And How Now Is All This.”
And, like, everything fucking dies at first (totally not plants fault, btw. okay maybe it was but they didn’t mean to) but then new things evolve.
And they’re like, “Fuck it, eating each other suuuucks. Let’s eat the plants which give us life.”
And so we start doing that.
And plants are all, “Oh Dear No, I Do Not Care At All For Being Eaten. I Will Make Myself Into Poison Sometimes.”
But, y’know, stuff kept eating plants anyway so plants, ever the bro, came up with a new idea. “I Have Made A Decision About Being Eaten And You May Eat Me Friends And Here Is An Especially Tasty Bit Packed All Full of Delicious Sugars Which I Have Produced At Great Cost (What They Do Not Know Is That My Seeds Are Within And Shall Be Propagated Near And Far By Their Dung)“
But that’s not good enough for animals, no, not at all.
We love the fuck out of some pomegranates but also alliums which are like, “I Have Not Decided To Go In For This Being Eaten Business. I Shall Be Very Foul Tasting And Also A Poison.”
But no, sorry, onions, you fucked up.
You accidentally wound up with a species that just doesn’t give up or fully comprehend the idea of things tasting “”‘bad’“’ or other concepts like not eating poison. (Sorry, plants, later we turn some of you who are not poison into a poison we consume recreationally. We really enjoy eating poison.) 
Legit, alliums are deadly to, like, every other species.
And we call them aromatics and throw them in everything.
Peppers are the best, though.
They completely got on the being eaten train.
BUT ONLY BIRDS
Peppers are like, “You May Eat Me, Fair Avian, For You Are Sure To Spread Me A Great Distance. But, Mammal, Take HEED. Should You Eat Me Then I Will Burn You Most Terribly.”
And we were all about that.
“The FUCK, burning? I love pain,” said humans, presumably.
“You know, peppers, you and evolution have done a good job at burning us but I am pretty sure we could make your chemical agony even more potent. Come hang with us,” humans added to a very confused pepper just before creating the ghost chili.

coinkydirks:

unrelatableuserboxes:

honestly sometimes i think about how straight ppl will never understand what its like to be gay (obviously) and its wild to me cus you know as a Gay it’s my whole like… life experience? 

like they’ll never know whether or not its safe to talk to someone abt ur crushes or to come out or like, they won’t pick up on all microaggressions all the time and remember them forever, or feel guilty for liking someone of the same gender n feeling scared to wear pride merch cus what if someone comes after u? n that they won’t have to experience tht horrible longing feeling u get when u think about how impossible it is to date anyone cus like where are all the gays at? where are they?

its wild cus im like used to this but like if for one day the tables turned straighgt ppl would not be able to cope rip also i guess i’ll never know the straight life either like   what do straights think about? math? idk

this is why when people say “being gay is just part of a characters personality” rubs me the wrong way like… no every aspect of our lives is often adjusted to our sexuality and it’s exhausting how it fundamentally affects every interaction we have

ashauyel:

it’s so weird to see people online say that they think all gay people are prone to “morally judgmental black and white thinking” when that’s just… not the lived experience of any gay people I know. most of us if not all of us are constantly interacting with people who hold a low level hatred for us and we don’t have any kind of choice in that. most of the time it’s “my coworker told me she thinks all lesbians are ugly and gross but most of the time she’s really funny so I forgot about it” or “my relative told me he thinks all gay people should be sterilized and put through conversion therapy, but he’s usually pretty nice to talk to at family functions”. like as gay people we’re constantly compromising on our safety/comfort/mental health for the sake of convenience and familiarity so maybe if you think we all judge celebrities or tumblr users too harshly based on a few microaggressions maybe consider the fact that in real life we hardly ever get to control the kind of environment we live in