“Being born a woman is an awful tragedy. Yes, my consuming desire to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, bar room regulars—to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording —all is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night.”
listen, the passage of time frightens me to an unhealthy degree, but I AM ready for the sun to slingshot into a different galaxy or w/e the fuck makes seasons pass, I’m just super ready for autumn. wanna eat a pumpkin spice Tim Hortons muffin & rewatch over the garden wall. Im ready.
having parents that were really angry and petty and abusive when you were young is weird, because it makes part of you grow up to want to be kind, to generate good things, to be a source of peace and wellbeing for others; but it makes another part of you grow up to be quick, and sharp, and spiteful, and that’s always the part that shows itself first in a hard situation, so it’s a struggle between your hateful gut reactions and your wish to not add any more misery to the world. it’s a hard balance, and the people who really, really know me – i know they see that anger flash in my eyes before i quiet it, if i quiet it…i want to overcome years of conditioning, and with gentle, constant force, i know i’ll mellow it. it just takes time.
Growing up with years of anger surrounding you will do that to you and the struggle to actually be a better person is always there, just beneath the surface, and pushing it down and looking for a way to transform it and release it in a positive way takes some time and so much effort, but it’s always worth it in the end, because you feel so proud of yourself when your empathy wins over years of conditioned anger.
im so sorry to do this to u, pls forgive me for my terrible sin, you are beautiful and i am terrible, all u do is work so hard, no one protects you or appreciates you enough, i love u sm im s o sorry really i
Land of Sweetness and Light 
You must be logged in to post a comment.