Think about what you were saying when they used to talk to you. Think about your choice of words and tone. Think about why they tried to come to you and why they don’t anymore. When you shut them out, belittle them, and blame them for all of their problems, you will lose them. And that will be permanent.
This.
My therapist legit called my mom out on this shit. She keeps calling me a “non-functioning adult” and my therapist heard her say it and was like “WOAH! Ok you need to stop that immediately. Do you realize you’re belittling her? That you’re labeling her for life? You then judge her for having low self-esteem and drive to do things when you actively oppress her by labeling her like that.” And I glanced at Mom and him and Mom was like real quiet and was like “okay”. She has yet to say it since. So yeah. Parents don’t even realize this shit. And I’m almost 21… This happened less than a month ago. You are talking to tiny humans. Treat them that way! Like a human!!!
Also!!! Not to detract from this point but to add on: are you initiating interactions with them? (Beyond reprimands and etc.) Just like with any other relationships in your life, if one side always has to be the one to ask for attention and start conversations, its inevitable they will assume you just don’t care about them. Why would someone come to you if they think you don’t care about them past controlling them or punishing them?
Dear parents who wonder why their kids never talk to them…
Published
Land of Sweetness and Light 