Shit my wife has said to our cat:

computationalcalculator:

shitmygaywifesays:

-You are the cause of all entropy.

-I don’t know how, but I’m going to blame you for all my problems.

-Life on this earth is brief.

-What do you think about the plight of the Jewish people, Miss Kitty?

-You have to ask yourself, Miss Kitty, would your rather be comforted by a lie or strengthened by the truth?

-You occupy a very small space in a very large world, but your conscience is ever the umbrella. You also have a cute kitty butt.

– (after the cat ate a ribbon and threw it up) You wanted to be beautiful on the inside, didn’t you?

-You understand that life is meaningless and we must take pleasure where we can. And for you that is on this blue blanket.

-I will fight you in hell upon a mound of bones, Miss Kitty.

-You are a single bead in the string of lives that I hold together.

-You can get used to a certain kind of poison, Miss Kitty

-Sometimes that little light escapes the darkness of your heart, and then you cage it again.

– I… am SO PROUD to have a cat that would murder her children.

       -(justifying it) Come on! She’d be a terrible mother!

– We can’t be equals until you get a job, you goddamn freeloader.

– You and your eight nipples are shit.

– You have just enough common sense to not piss on your tail, Miss Kitty.

@lakesandquarries